Spotters Stand – Capt Nasties

It was inevitable. It was only a matter of time before something ridiculous happened. I interviewed capt nasties…
It’s my pleasure to welcome my good friend and one of our club leaders to this installment of 2old4forza’s Spotters Stand, capt nasties! Nasties, why don’t you start us off with a small introduction for anyone who might not know you?

drivebye: How long have you been involved with 2old4forza and do you remember your first race with the club?
nasties: I started with the release of FM3 in 2009 when I was 26. I don’t recall my first race but I do have fond memories of the SCCA 2.5 liter races we did.

drivebye: Any other fond memories you would like to share?
nasties: Mostly chipping away at the S class leaderboard at Nurburgring with AssTrackAssassin in some bright green Lambo. We were fighting over top 10 times and spent a lot of time developing and lapping that car. It was a hoot, 800 HP, aero turned all the way down.

drivebye: How about any kind words of advice to any shy drivers who may have not yet joined us for any events?
nasties: Don’t be a jabronie get your ass on track.

drivebye: I understand you are quite the taco enthusiast, please describe for us your “perfect” taco.
nasties: The perfect taco is called “tacos dorados” in mexico. These are crispy shell tacos with some beans to hold the shell together, meat, cotija cheese, cilantro, and a little sour cream.

drivebye: Coming from another food lover, is there any other types of cuisine you really enjoy to indulge in?
nasties: Poke. If you don’t know you better get your ass to Hawaii and figure it out.

drivebye: Pick your favorite. Butt chugging 40’s of malt liquor in the back of a dirty truck stop theater while reruns of Roseanne are playing or taking a fine cocktail of hallucinogens before attending a Star Wars Ewok convention in French Canada on a full moon?
nasties: Well I love malt liquor and hate French Canada so I’m gonna go with truck stop theater. Bonus is Alex Nelson’s mom will probably be working the glory hole at the truck stop so that’s always a plus.

drivebye: So you’re a fisherman… What’s the most bad ass fish you’ve ever caught?
nasties: Probably this nearly 40lb dorado (mahi mahi) I caught about 80 miles off shore of Baja. They do not put up the fight like the Yellow and Bluefin tunas do, but this was a trophy dorado and they make the best fish tacos.

drivebye: Have you ever gotten drunk and fell off a boat at high speed? Did you skip across the water?
nasties: I have not, but I was driving a cat. Hull speed boat with a chevy 454. Blasting along at about 55 mph (somehow that POS motor did not blow up) and a lady friend flew out of the boat and did some pretty quality skipping. Luckily she did not hit the boat on the way out…but she was pretty banged up.

drivebye: There seems to be a lot of musicians in 2o4f, including you and myself. Tell us what you play and have
you ever played in any sweet bands?
nasties: I play drums and bass. I have been in a lot of bands when I was younger but the best was the Oaktown Jazz Band (Oakland Ca based). We tore shit up bigtime with some greasy ass soul / funk and jazz standards.

drivebye: OK, so regardless of cost or rarity, what is your ultimate dream car?
nasties: Daytona Coupe #5 that won Lemans in 1965

drivebye: As some may know already, you have recently had your first child with your wife, a beautiful little girl. What her first car going to be?
nasties: She already has her first car. 1992 Lexus SC300.

drivebye: Who would win a cage match to the death? Alex Nelson or Lady Gaga?
nasties: What is Lady Gaga?

drivebye: Favorite song by your favorite band? Post up a link…
nasties: Tower of Power is the best band of all time. Squib Cakes is my favorite tune, killer drum line and Hammond B3 organ work.

drivebye: Some of us know that you’re vertically challenged. How does it feel to not be able to go on the big kids
rides at the amusement parks?
nasties: Its fine amusement parks are for f***in’ idiots. Roller coasters are slow and boring. Honestly I have better things to do with my time like whoop your ass at Atari or slam out Alex Nelson’s mom.

drivebye: Favorite type of motorsport? Favorite driver? Favorite circuit?
nasties: Vintage auto racing for sure. Ken Miles. Nurburgring.

drivebye: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?
nasties: F*** off.

drivebye: Give us an example of your “perfect” evening.
nasties: Getting drunk as f***, smoking some joints and racing all you assholes in 2O4F.

drivebye: I’ve heard stories of your experience racing your motorcycle at the famous Pikes Peak Hill Climb. Your videos are quite the spectacle. Do you have any stories of crazy shit that happened or butthole puckering moments?
nasties: Sort of…We ended up getting to the motel a few days early. I was staying in the Mecca motel where all the big time motorcycle racers stay. We got kicked out after the first night after having a few beers on the porch. I came back from testing at the local circle track and all our shit was on the porch! So we had to find a new place to stay… Ended up in a greasy ass motel with a bunch of transients. But everyone these was super nice and stoked to have a racer staying. They looked after the truck / bike and tools for us and it ended up being a great experience.

drivebye: Also, I’ve seen the videos and heard some stories from your travels to Germany and your laps on one of our most favorite circuits, Nordschliefe. Any weird standout memories from that adventure?
nasties: Man it was so f***ing cool. If I did not need to work I would move to Germany and just do laps on the ring all the time. I think the most strange part of the adventure was watching a guy with a fully raced the f*** out Corvette, huge wing and all, stall it not once, not twice, but three times going through the toll gate!!! It was f***in’ great, f*** Corvettes.

drivebye: Do you approve of Formula E, or the idea of driverless racing cars?
nasties: F*** off.

drivebye: If you were to yell out words of wisdom to enlighten the minds of the people around you at a concert in between songs, what would those words be?
nasties: I know what you want me to say, but honestly I usually am yelling at the sound guy to turn up the organ player.

drivebye: What engine produces your favorite sound?
nasties: Those formula E cars sound pretty f***ing sick broooough!

drivebye: What’s the strangest place you’ve ripped a line of drugs?
nasties: Probably off a strippers butt in Reno. But there have been some other poor decisions.

drivebye: We all appreciate your time and your contributions to 2o4f, please leave us with some words of wisdom as we conclude this interview…
nasties: Be a hero, be a winner. Participate in 2O4F events, race clean, and don’t be a dick.


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